Today has been a hard day for me, Bombshells. In a whirlwind hour-long appointment at the doctor's office, I learned I have endometriosis and adenomyosis, the later of the two is the bigger problem it seems. The doctor presented this somewhat matter-of-factly, along with myriad of ways it can be treated including artificial hormones, uterine ablation, and hysterectomy – none of which sounded reasonable to me.
I guess I've had symptoms for years, but I always talked myself out of it. The painful cramps and flu-like symptoms I've suffered were key sign, but every month I told myself I was being a cry-baby, that many women had cramps far worse than I did and I just needed to push through. Eventually, the symptoms became too prominent, and out of fear over the state of my health, I sought medical help.
Grateful. In the face of this abrupt news, I am grateful because I need to be. It's the only way I can cope with the situation. This is big. Not cancer big, not life-threatening big, but life-altering big. I'm relatively young (37) and I'm faced with the fact that, essentially, I can't have any more kids. Trust me, I am immensely grateful that I have three healthy, vibrant children. Adenomyosis, from what I understand, most often develops after you have had children. But it feels like my autonomy has been taken from me. Honestly, I didn't intend to have more children, but I like knowing that I could change my mind. That maybe, if some crazy urge struck me, it was still a possibility.
No longer.
I know I'm not the first woman to be unexpectedly stripped of her fertility. Still, it's a hard reality to swallow. But I refuse to have part of my body removed before I have explored every available alternative. I will be researching like a mad woman for everything and anything to help me reduce the symptoms and relieve the pain. No stone will remain unturned.
Please, Bombshells, share your stories, your experience, your remedies, I want to hear it all. I'm so grateful to have all of you by my side as I navigate this detour on my path through life.
At 30 I had to have part of my breast removed. I felt like I was losing what made me a woman. I wouldn't be able to nurse should I have more children. I'd have a big scar. All true but I am more than any of those losses. And I know you will find what you need to face the future with glory. :)
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